


A letter to Light

by E_Leonora



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Dead L (Death Note), Emotional Hurt, F/M, Feelings, Hurt No Comfort, One-Sided Amane Misa/Yagami Light, Yagami Light is Kira
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 06:36:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20774156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E_Leonora/pseuds/E_Leonora
Summary: Light received a letter but he didn't know who the sender was...





	A letter to Light

**Author's Note:**

> My second story for now. Let me know how you like it :)

It's been almost twelve months since L clossed his eyes forever. 

. . . . .

Light Yagami was sitting behind his work table with his hands placed on a surface of the desk and his eyes looking at the Death note before him. He had eliminated forty-two criminals today. Good job done.

He was alone in his apartment. His girlfriend, Misa was gone on some photo shooting in the other part of Japan. They are living together now, and she is helping him to fulfill his dream about making the better world. In return, he is giving himself to her to make her dream come true. Her dream is about being his girlfriend and maybe one day something more... but he didn't have plans to be her husband one day. That 'girlfriend thing' should be enough for her.

He decided to go out to grab some lunch and to stretch his legs in a walk.

. . . . .

When he was about to finish his meal, it started to rain outside. That was not a good thing. Light Yagami hated when it rained. It annoyed him.  
He sighed heavily and watched through the window while he tried to block the stirring memories of a certain man whom he associated with the rain. 

" Are you finished with your meal, sir?"

Light slightly nodded to waitress as she continued: " Do you want a dessert too?"

Light's heart jumped at the mention of that simple word. He tried to ignore that feeling and nodded to smiling waitress: " Yes, I would like to have some strawberry cake." Waitress nodded and headed to bring him a dessert.

Light continued to look through the window. Girl came back with slice of strawberry cake, and she placed it before him. "Anything else, sir?"

Light only shook his head and muttered, "Thanks".

When, she was gone, he started to stare at his plate. Strawberry cake, 'his' favorite...

'Don't think much about it, just eat it and go home'. He reminded himself.

. . . . .

Walking in the rain was not pleasant. Light was all wet when he reached his apartment. He checked his mail box, expecting nothing as usual, but he found a letter. 

To Yagami Light. 

That was all what was written on that white paper.

It was not written who the sender was. Light went inside and showered to warm himself up and to wash the rain off him. All the time he thought about that letter. Who could send him a letter anyway?

When he had this envelope again in his hands, he suddenly felt nausea and anxiety. He hesitated but didn't know why. That piece of paper somehow reminded him of the detective. 'Should I read it? Or should I just burn it?'

With shaky hands he opened the letter. After a short pause he opened stacked paper and started to read. 

\- - - - -

Dear Light

If you are reading this, then I'm long gone. I wanted to say to you so many things, but I couldn't tell them to you while I was alive. I don't know even where to start.  
I must've write this to have peace in my soul. Because, I knew that I would die at the end of our 'battle' or maybe you preffer to call it 'a game', but that's irrelevant now.

To be honest, at first I wanted to catch Kira, and to punish him for all his crimes. But, when some time had passed, and when we were deep into that case, I was sure about you being Kira about 99%. And after all I tried to save you. I wanted to save you. But as you see, I failed. When I realized that it was too late. I let you win, and let you to be who you wanted to be. I wanted for you to realize that Kira can't change the world. That no one can change the world... I am sure that you still think that you could be the new God of this world. But Light, you are just a human. Don't forget about that. And humans don't live forever, and can easily fall from grace. So, enjoy your victory days, while you can.

Anyway... I didn't write this letter to talk about Kira. I wrote it for you to know that I cared for you, and that I'm sad that I need to leave you alone in this place. You are, or better to say, were my equal and someone who gave me a great challenge. Times where I were around you were most interesting ones for me in my whole life. Not that my life was boring, it was mostly interesting, but you added to my life something that it lacks before. I don't know what that was, but I'm glad that I met you even if it meant the end of me.  
I'm only sorry that it didn't last longer. But it was special to me.  
Also, I wanted to say that I am sorry for every pain I caused you. I know, that to say sorry is not enough, but I can't do anything about it now. I hope that my death will be enough payback for all that I'we done to you.

I wish I could hug you, at least once. I don't know why, but I just do... And I want to hold you in my embrace, and maybe just maybe look into your eyes and say all the things I wanted always to say to you. But that is just a stupid fantasy of mine, and I know that kind of things would never happen. I know that I shouldn't have had those feelings towards you, I remind myself every time that you are a suspect and I'm a detective, but I can't control them no matter how hard I try. I am barely able to control myself when I look at you. But I must admit that sometimes I am glad that I will die soon, because I won't have to deal with these feelings anymore.

I know I'm talking much more than I should, but I can't stop now. It wouldn't matter anyway, because I will be long dead when you read this. And a dead man can not feel the shame.

I just thought that it would be nice of me to be completely sincere with you, just for once in my life.

If you ever wonder when I wrote this letter... it was written two nights after Higuchi died.  
We were still handcuffed together and you were peacefully asleep. I just admired you as I always did and tried to write this letter. It was not an easy task for me. I'm not very good with stuff like this, that I almost give up.  
But here it is. I don't know for sure, if you will read it, but I will be glad if you do. 

I miss you already.

I don't want to waste your time anymore, so I'm nearing this to an end. As I said, I am truly sorry for everything that I did to you and for everything I didn't, but should've done.

Now, I am finally saying goodbye to you Light-kun. And I forgave you everything.

Sincerely yours 

L Lawliet

. . . . .

At first, when he started to read it, Light felt irritated, then latter, mostly confused. It was harder and harder to read the letter. His throat tightened, and he felt a knot in his stomach. It was difficult to breathe.

He sat down in the chair. 

When he finally finished reading, he started to cry. He started to cry for the first time after L's death. And for the first time since he was a child. A sudden burst of emotion broke through all the walls he had built over the years.

He could't stop crying almost all afternoon. He lay curled up on the bed feeling broken, defeated. Like it finally had come to his mind that L was gone forever. And reading those words hurt him like hell. 

When, he was tired he finally fell asleep.

. . . . .

In the morning he looked one last time at the letter (for now) and had pulled up the big wooden box up from under the bed. He unlocked the lock and placed the letter in that box beside the other things. There were only few things. White sweatshirt and a pair of handcuffs connected with a chain.

Light closed that box, locked it and put it back under the bed.

. . . . .


End file.
